Monday, September 9, 2013

Omily Tarot: Wishing on a Star for a New Blogpost

So last Monday being Labor Day, I was too busy canning tomatoes, giggling over non-jokes, and exclaiming over the absurd tastiness of shrimp nachos takeout to write a blog post.  I thought I would write one Tuesday...and ran smack into a smooth, solid wall of writer's block.  I thought I'd write one Wednesday...and still had nothing.  Thursday and Friday it was just hopeless as I had tons to do on top of getting ready for the first weekend of my Aerial Yoga Teacher Training at Om Factory!  Yay!!!  I had such a fantastic weekend of exploring alignment, anatomy, and pedagogy, meeting new people, finding decent lunch options in the Fashion District, and just getting my learn on.  I mean seriously.  I was really sorry to see that weekend end.

Of course, I want to blog about it.  Yesterday.  But, this has to be a Tarot post...lucky for me, there's a loop hole!  I drew a tarot card to sum up my (#)AYTT2013 experience thus far!  HOOHOOHAHAHA!!!!!

I got...The Hermit!
I was surprised by this card, considering the highly communal nature of teacher trainings in our culture.  We learn not just from a team of teachers, but from each other through observation, experience of the poses, and discussion.  Still, I can identify with this downcast figure setting off alone.  There were some doubts that plunking down more money than I've made teaching this year for another teacher training was a sensible move.  I really felt like this was the right thing to do though, and I had also already invested so much time and energy into growing in this direction, it didn't feel like an option to me at all to abandon all that progress now, which is what I would have been doing. I could see what I needed to do, and where it would take me, even if those close to me couldn't necessarily.

I've been making an effort to connect with my fellow trainees, and I hope to have new friends by the time the training is over, but I still find myself settling into old habits and doing homework, practice sessions, and even hammock adjustments on my own, just because I'm comfortable doing those things by myself, and it seems quicker and easier to just do it than to try to pick out a partner.  In this way, I'm remaining kind of hermit-ish, even in the midst of this group structure.  I haven't asked a question that reveals whether this is good, bad, or merely inevitable, but I'm going to continue making an effort to step outside of this inclination and let others help me as well as help others, especially when our teacher suggest we do that!

Another aspect of this card that's highly relevant relates to the blog post I already wrote about (#)AYTT2013: I'm taking a dip into this immersive learning experience so that I can come back and have that much more to offer to my students.  The hermit doesn't only go into solitude to grow closer to the divine and find important truths: she or he comes back and shares what he or she has learned with those she or he left behind.

I'm drawn to the star in in the hermit's lantern as well.  The star is such a potent symbol for me: my mom gave me a star necklace just before high school and I made up this whole narrative in my head that it was because I was growing into a bright, shining star, or that some day I would be a just captured my imagination.  Going back before junior high, I dreamed of being a star as in a celebrity: I wanted attention, accolades, the whole nine yards, and I'd be lying if I said I'm not still tantalized by that idea.  The Star in the major arcana is also the card usually affiliated with Aquarius: my star sign.  Whenever I'm somewhere out of the big city, I'm arrested with pure awe looking up at all the stars in the sky...and if I ever have a huge change of heart and decide to reproduce, I know my first born's middle name will be Sahar, which means, "All the Stars in the Sky".  If not, I'll just name a cat that. Particularly when I'm feeling very suseptible to that siren call of fame, I have a feeling that I'm meant for something great, that there's an end game to all this that will be worth the trouble not just for me, but for the whole world, and i see it as a star burning painfully, brilliantly, in my soul...

Having the star caged in a lantern that I'm using as a tool is an interesting twist on all these ideas.  It's as though, instead of relying on this burning need as a sign that I'll get there no matter what, I'm pulling it out and actually harnessing that energy to move me forward.  That makes me think of Movement, also known as the Chariot, the card I drew as my 2013 card of the year.  It's looking more and more relevant these days!  Who knows where my star will rise...or how high!

I wonder if the hermit's staff also has special just might, but you'll have to wait for another blog post to find out!

Over all, this card suggests that (#)AYTT2013 is fitting snuggly into the narrative arc my life is creating, and is an important step toward larger goals, themes, and dreams I have for myself.  Sweeeeet!

Isn't it fun to pick apart a card's imagery like that, instead of taking a meaning from a book, or from your memory?  I find it's way more revealing, too!  Think you'll give it a try?  Let me know how it goes!

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